I’ve been pondering what to write for the first post of the site for a while. I’ve been working on several pieces, thinking one of them will do the trick. But something just feels off about them all. None of them feel satisfactory as a start to something new. I guess you could say I’m stuck.
Therefore, I’ve decided to start this venture by exploring reasons why starting something new can be difficult, at least in my experience. I feel it’s as appropriate a place to start as any other.
Taking the first step is often the hardest one. Once you’re moving, it gets easier—at least, it’s supposed to—because you’ve now found your rhythm in the new journey. But why exactly is the first step the hardest one? In my case, three reasons immediately spring to mind: resistance to change, comfort, and fear. Unsurprisingly, these reasons play off of each other.
Change is an adventure. And with adventures, you don’t always know where you’re going to end up. This reality has frequently been a jarring sensation in my life whenever beginning something new. I know I’m not alone in this experience; I know many people aren’t exactly big fans of change. I also know we who feel this way have to get over ourselves and put our big-boy pants on because change is guaranteed in life, and it’s going to happen constantly all around us. However, this acknowledgment of reality doesn’t simply avert my resistance to change; it’s still there.
But why is it there in the first place? I’m sure there’s a psychological explanation that involves introverted individuals being less spontaneous and adventurous, but I’m not a psychologist, so I’ll leave that level of analysis to the weird people who like to get inside people’s heads—no offense, psychologists, but you all are a weird bunch. I believe there is a simpler explanation for what drives my dislike of change. And if you’re a bedfellow with me in this feeling, there’s a high likelihood it applies to you too. That explanation is, very simply, the fact that change is going to lead to discomfort.
Comfort is safety. Knowing what to expect is a luxury of comfort. Change throws a wrench into this sense of safety and security. It makes things uncomfortable. This isn’t a bad thing necessarily; rather, it can be quite a good thing, hence the expression, “Step outside your comfort zone.” But the uttering of that expression doesn’t make the “stepping out” part automatically easier to do. It can actually make it more difficult because you have to directly confront losing that comfort.
Yet, as I said earlier, and despite what the feeling of potentially losing that comfort makes you feel in the moment, losing your comfort isn’t inherently a negative thing. The discomfort may actually be quite beneficial because it presents the opportunity for personal growth. And the pursuit of personal growth is supposed to be one of the reasons we get out of bed every morning. It helps provide our lives with purpose. Unfortunately, the pleasantness of that sentiment doesn’t remove the resistance to change and dreading of discomfort. The reason for this is because the element lying at the heart of said resistance and dread remains present. And that element is fear.
Now, my fear is totally unwarranted. Change is not inherently a positive. Some change is unnecessary and, worse, destructive without just cause. (Ah, yes, Chesterton and his fences. Somebody will get that reference.) However, change is also not inherently a negative, so my fear isn’t totally warranted either. Regardless of whether my fear is warranted or not, change, as I mentioned earlier, is a certainty.
So, despite the fear that comes from that certainty, the trick is figuring out how to accept the necessary changes in life and, even better, hopefully begin to welcome them in the future. But this requires a key element: bravery. The development of this element can be difficult, but I think the strategy is quite simple. Acknowledge that you’re scared—don’t tell yourself you’re not—and take the first step anyway. This post is the first step for me.
What new road are you scared to travel down? And once you’ve found it, how are you going to acknowledge your fear and find the bravery to take the first step in that direction anyway?
Yes, I actually had the audacity to end this in the most cringeworthy, pseudo-inspirational manner possible. I’m intentionally leaving it in because it’s that bad. I apologize.
Now, bugger off.